How To Adjust to an Empty Nest

So your kids are settled into college. Every single one of them. Their requests to transfer money for unexpected Target runs, trips to the bookstore and must-have decor have ceased. Your young adults are making friends and getting into a routine with classes and studying. Calls asking for advice have fallen to a trickle. Instead of holding your breath waiting for them to reach out via text or SnapChat, it’s time to embrace your empty nest. Here are a few things that I’ve found helpful, as a mother of twins, to build upon this new chapter when your kids don’t need you at every beck and call.

1. Reconnect with Your Spouse

   This is by far, the biggest and most important step to adjusting to life in the empty nest without kids at home.  Quite frankly, it can go two ways.  You and your spouse can either come together to figure out this new dynamic or you can go it alone.  My husband and I chose to rekindle our romance by spending time together. This meant traveling, not just to see the kids, but exploring different parts of the world.  It also meant weekly date nights, to get us out of the house and give us the chance to dress up for each other.  Honestly, it felt a little like we were dating again. Which was pretty darn fantastic.

2. Discover New Interests

   Think of something that you wish you had time for over the last couple of decades when you were focused on parenting.  Since I am not a crafty person and already participate in a lot of sports, this one was tough for me. Thankfully, it evolved organically. When my dad passed away, the amount of floral arrangements that I received was impressive. I made a game out of freshening up the wilting arrangements with flowers from others. This is how I decided to learn the tricks of floral arranging. I hooked up with a local florist who was happy to show me things like how to cut hydrangeas so they can get more water through their stems, or the importance of pulling off the guard petals on roses to get them to bloom fully.

3. Serve Others

   With the added gift of time in the empty nest, one of the most rewarding things you can do is to find ways to help others. Whether it be working in a soup kitchen, volunteering at your church or serving on a nonprofit board, what you get in return will be double what you give. God put it on my heart to love on kids who attended college close to us, but far away from their own families. In the course of the last year, I’ve been the stand-in mom for a lacerated liver and a dental implant. Thankfully both incidents did not happen to the same person! The result has been engaging adult relationships with kids the same age as mine while giving me the chance to love, nurture and spoil them. Just a little bit.