Musings Of An Empty Nest Mom
As I dropped off both of my college students, after a brief visit home at the end of spring semester, I felt a knot in my stomach. Coupled with a healthy dose of nausea and tears that I promised wouldn’t flow. My kids were returning to their respective states, where they attended college, for the summer. And I had only one person to blame for this turn of events – myself.
It’s been two years since my twins graduated from high school, but it feels like so much longer. In a good way. The changes in each of their lives have been nothing less than astounding. I’m even more proud of them today than when they walked across that windy football field to receive their diplomas.
Parents of high school seniors, my advice is not to see graduation from high school as the end. Instead, think of it as a beautiful new beginning. This milestone in your child’s life is your chance to launch them into the adults that you’ve worked so hard to raise. But first, you probably have a dozen or so graduation gifts to give their friends and other family members graduating this spring. Not to worry. As a mother of former high school grads, I’ve got you covered with a few ideas.
It’s that time of year. Your college student is starting to make plans for the summer. If they are a sophomore or junior, a summer internship is a great option. Not only will it give them experience in their chosen field, but it will also show your student what they like and don’t like about a specific job. Some collegians may need a little help navigating how to apply for college internships. Parents, note that I said they may need a little help – our job is not to find the internship for them.
It all started 19 ½ years ago, when I was blessed with two beautiful babies. Twins. A boy and a girl, no less. The first year caring for two infants was hard. Really hard. But each subsequent year I spent mothering multiples got a little easier, a lot more fun and actually quite humorous. My mother, on more than one occasion, suggested that I write a book about my experience. To which I’d reply, “Maybe someday.”
A little over a year ago, I started a journey to write a book that would help prepare parents for sending their kids to college. Why? Because I sure wished I had a guidebook like this when my kids moved away from home. There were so many things I would have preferred knowing about. And a few that some very wise folks, who had gone before me, shared in advance of the day that I said goodbye to our college freshmen at their respective schools. So without further ado, here is the title and cover reveal of my first book!
The holiday season can be a welcome distraction for many empty nesters. Especially if your college student was able to come home to visit. For a brief moment, all felt right in the world. Your adult “children” slumbering in their own beds. The whole family together around the dinner table again. And then they went back to college. Leaving an ache in your heart and maybe a too-quiet house. So what now?
When our son applied to college, his primary focus was a school with a Division I (DI) swim program. His next two criteria, in order, were a university with an urban campus and lastly, one with a good engineering school. Before you judge, I challenge you to find any 17-year-old whose priorities in choosing a college are completely rational.
College tours are awesome. For both parents and soon-to-be collegians. I enjoyed them so much, my twins had to remind me that I wasn’t going to be a student again. In my defense, who wouldn’t want to attend University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB), located on its own peninsula set high above the Pacific Ocean? For a brief moment, I considered getting my PhD and then remembered I was already going to be paying tuition to two other schools. At the exact same time.
It’s officially fall. The leaves are changing and there’s a chill in the air. When your college kids went off to school it was still the dog days of summer. Which means you will likely see them in just a month or two; for parents’ weekend or even the holidays. Rather than marking the days off on your calendar or launching into uber-Santa mode, I encourage you to do exactly the opposite. Stop. Focus on your needs in the empty nest. Instead of counting days, relish this time that is a true luxury in our over-programmed, technology-driven society.
I grew up in a small town in Michigan. It wasn’t tiny, like some one-stoplight Midwestern towns, but it was insulated enough that my father, a world traveler, encouraged me to study abroad in college. Unfortunately for Dad, I showed zero interest in experiencing other cultures, countries and languages. It wasn’t until my daughter turned 16 that I actually left North America and took her to Paris. The trip changed my view of traveling abroad. I fell in love with both the city and the country. So when our twins went to college, I strongly encouraged them to take advantage of their respective university’s study abroad programs. My daughter did just that this past summer. And the experience was life-changing for her.
